{A Letter to Cade}

I'm sitting here on Christmas night, watching old movies and enjoying sitting down and relaxing for what feels like the first time in 3 days. I'm also thinking about all the reasons I (we) are blessed and about the wonderful year that has passed. I've been having trouble sleeping lately, and so most of my time lying awake in bed is spent thinking about Cade coming into this world and how truly amazing that is. I started thinking last night about all the things I want to tell him one day, and I don't want to forget anything. I thought I'd write a letter here where it will be when I need it.

Cade Alexander Roberts

It's Christmas Day 2012, and in just 7 short weeks you are due to join us here in this world. This fills me with many scary emotions and anxiety, but mostly joy. Your daddy and I have been married for 3 years now, and together for 6 years before that. We always knew we wanted to have children, and we can't wait to meet you. We've loved you from the moment we found out you were in my belly, before you were even big enough to see. Nothing will ever compare to my feeling of shock and pure joy when I found out I was pregnant with you, except for the look on your daddy's face when I told him the news. We were so excited!

You will know one day that your daddy doesn't often show his emotions. However, nothing has ever made him more excited that to learn that we were having you and that you were a little boy that he could raise to be his own. My love for your dad grew exponentially while I was pregnant, because he already loved you so much before he even met you. They say that nothing compares to a mother's love for her child (which I believe), but your daddy has a very special love for you too. He would sit on the couch at night while you were in my belly and wait to feel you kick. If you were sleeping in there, he would want me to move around and try to wake you up. I think it was his way of playing with you before you were even born.

We are very different people, your dad and I. However, we go together perfectly and have a love that will only be made stronger by you being with us. I can't wait to hold you and see if you have my dark hair, or his blue eyes. You will have parts of each of us in you, which will make you special and unlike anyone else in this world. I hope you are blessed with all of our best traits. 

From your dad, I hope you get his unwavering determination. He's never met a challenge he wasn't willing to face head on. There is no task too big or small for him, whether it's work or hunting. I hope you get his sense of humor. He tells me all the time that I am too serious, because he can find humor in anything. I also hope you get his big heart. Like I said before, your dad doesn't like to show emotion. Never let that fool you into thinking he doesn't care. People who truly know him know that he will do and give anything to help someone who needs it. He will never let you down, and he will teach you so much about life.

It's harder to tell you what I hope you take from me, because I'm critical of myself. I could easily tell you all the things I hope you don't get from me, like my anxiety or tendency to worry about small things, but I'll try to be positive. I hope you get my nurturing personality. I'm by nature a caring person (which is why I became a nurse). By this I mean I want you to always know there are people that need you, and there is always a way you can help. I also hope you get my patience and faith. Things will not always happen when and how you want them to, but they will work out how they're meant to. God will always take care of you.

You are so lucky to be born into this family. Besides me and your dad, you have two uncles who will always take care of you and probably let you get away with anything! You also have 4 grandparents who want nothing more than to see you happy and healthy. You're  the first grandchild, and that will always make you special to them. Between all of us, you will always be taken care of and never do without.

Cade, this world is a scary place. Because of that, sometimes we will drive you crazy. We will get on your nerves, embarrass you, and make you mad. Sometimes you won't get to do things you want to, and you won't think that's fair. Just remember, we do all these things out of nothing but pure love for you. We will do our best to be good parents to you, and give you everything you need and most of what you want. We will protect you and teach you and help you grow. And one day when you're older, you will look back on all these things we did and understand why we did them. We know this because we've experienced all of these things from our parents. And you will do the same for your children.

Until then, we want nothing more than for you to be a kid. We want you to have fun, get dirty, make mistakes, and learn how to always do your best. Life won't always be what you want, and you'll get hurt sometimes. Always remember that we are here for you and we will never let you down. 

We will take care of you always. 

We love you.