I wanted to write this post to share a little more about my hospital experience. I have lots of pregnant friends right now =) some veterans, some first-timers, who read this blog and if anything I say is helpful I'm glad.
Disclaimer: Clearly I'm not an expert at having children.
However, my hospital stay is fresh on my mind and I'd like to offer a little advice on what I was completely happy with and what I would have done different.
Also, if you are of the male gender, this post is not for you. You can probably stop reading here.
Also, if you are of the male gender, this post is not for you. You can probably stop reading here.
First things first. I delivered Cade at Baptist Hospital in Nashville. We had an amazing experience there. I got totally lucky and every nurse I encountered was wonderful and calm. You'll see the word "calm" a lot here because if you read Cade's Birth Story, you know that was the name of my game. I am a firm believer that attitudes are contagious, so all these wonderful people were helpful when I went into labor at 1 in the morning. It could have easily gone the other way and freaked us the hell out.
Like I said, I went into labor on my own. Textbook water-breaking, contractions started, hospital in the middle of the night labor. So I can't vouch for inductions or c-sections here.
This is a long post...so here we go.
This is a long post...so here we go.
Don't be a hero.
I say this because I did try and it wasn't worth it. The first time was when I wanted to wait for my epidural. I let my contractions get to the "Holy crap this hurts a lot" point before asking. Now I wasn't totally miserable, but I was hurting bad enough that by the time the CRNA came to place it (remember, they may be with another patient and sometimes you have to wait a while), it was very hard for me to sit still. It took about 20 minutes so I was breathing through at least 5-6 contractions while she put it in. I should have asked for the epidural sooner, but I'm the type of person who doesn't ask, but waits for someone to tell me "This is ok now." And since my nurse was letting me run the show, that didn't really work out.
The second time was when I was pushing for almost 3 hours (again, see the birth story) and refused the vacuum to help get Cade out. Now this is a personal choice because there are risks involved, which my doctor explained very well. However, I didn't really want to listen when they said he really wasn't going to come out on his own. The reason they let me push on instead of insisting is because Cade was absolutely fine through the whole labor. If you run into this and your baby is in any distress, you won't have a choice. They will get your baby out. But again, Cade was loving it and I was running the show. When I finally said ok to the vacuum, it literally took 5 minutes and 2 pushed to get him out. And at that point I thought "Why didn't I do that an hour ago?!"
The third time was after the epidural was removed and I was offered pain medicine. You will most likely be ordered Motrin and some sort of narcotic (that isn't harmful to baby, mine was Percocet) for after delivery. I said yes to the Motrin and no to the Percocet, not having felt the after-effects of delivery because my epidural hadn't totally worn off yet. After this point, I continued to take Motrin around the clock and refuse the Percocet. We kept Cade in the room with us (except for a few hours the first night) and I didn't want it to make me sleepy. I sat up through all the visitors Sunday, and finally Sunday night I surrendered and took the Percocet. I didn't realize how much I hurt until the pain was gone. I finally slept for several hours at this point and felt much better. If I'd realized how much it helped, I would have started taking it after delivery.
It's ok to say NO.
This is meant for many circumstances.
This is your delivery, you get to (within reason) do it how you want.
Now, if your baby or you are in any sort of danger whatsoever, you don't get to call the shots.
However, if you have a birth plan or just a general idea of how you want things to go, let your nurse know. My favorite thing about delivering at Baptist was that they acknowledge the "golden hour." This is when the baby is allowed to stay with you for at least the first hour after birth, normally to give the baby skin-to-skin contact and allow them to try to nurse. I knew ahead of time they respected this period, but I also made it clear to my nurse that I wanted Cade with me after delivery. Once he was born, he was given to me to hold (a nice distraction when they're stitching you up...) and then taken away for just a couple of minutes to be weighed and wiped down. This also gave me a moment to get a new gown and sheets, and get more comfy in bed. Cody was able to take pictures of Cade getting weighed and then he was brought back to me. We allowed visitors in shortly after, but this was our choice and it was just family (also the visiting time was limited). The nurses actually let Cade stay with me until I was moved to my post-partum room (about 3 hours later). He was then taken to the nursery to get cleaned up while I did the same, and brought back to me about an hour later. I appreciated all the time spent with him during these first hours because the next day was a hailstorm of visitors.
It is also ok to say NO when you feel overwhelmed. This happened on Sunday when we had visitors from 9:30am to 8:00 pm. I loved and appreciated every single person that walked in that room, but it was almost crazy at one point. So when you have 9 people in your hospital room and you haven't eaten lunch and you have to pee (which after delivery is a lengthy process that may require assistance...my poor husband!), you need to speak up and ask people to leave. I didn't do this really because I didn't want to be rude or make people feel like we didn't appreciate them, but at some point it becomes too much. If you feel bad, ask the nurse for help. Being a nurse myself, we get asked often to handle visitors. Your nurse can gently ask people to clear out for a while so you can take a nap or handle your business.
Help yourself out.
I mentioned in Cade's birth story that when my water broke I got up and put make-up on before we hit the road. I did this for a reason. Mostly to not look yuck in pictures, but also to make myself feel better in general. You will feel gross after delivery (again, mine was long and hard, lots of pushing). You might be a lucky duck and push 30 minutes and out comes a baby! If that occurs, you won't be near as swollen or feel as bad as I probably did. But let me tell you, if you do have a marathon delivery you will feel it later. The last thing you'll want to do is go put make-up on right away. We crashed that first night but I was determined to not be a slob the next day. Cody helped me get a shower, and I was able to throw on some cute pajamas and some make-up. I really think this helped immensely. I also got up and walked around the hallways a little later in the day. I was sore and it was hard, but the sooner you start the easier it will be. I didn't cut myself any slack. Trust me, the longer you sit on your sore butt on that hard hospital mattress, the worse you'll feel. If you don't feel like walking the halls, at least get up and sit in the chair/couch that's in the room for a little while.
Take what's yours.
When you get discharged, take everything in that hospital room! This might make me sound tacky but trust me, you paid for it. This is actually directed more towards the baby stuff. Your baby will most likely be in a little bassinet/cradle set-up in your room that looks like it's sitting on top of a cabinet with drawers. In these little drawers are baby supplies, including diapers, wipes, Vaseline (circumcision), alcohol swabs (umbilical cord), brushes, aspirator, etc. My nurse kindly informed that everything in those drawers gets thrown away upon discharge if it's not taken. There was literally a whole pack of Pampers Swaddlers in the drawer. Clean it out! There isn't as much stuff given to mom, but they will give you supplies if you use a breast pump in the hospital, and that stuff is expensive!
Don't expect a miracle.
I don't know anyone who was said (out loud) that they hope or expect to look totally different after delivery. So just to be clear, you will not. You will still look pregnant. When I left the hospital Monday, I would compare myself to what I looked like when I was about 6 months along except your belly is now squishy instead of hard. Now your belly will shrink every day so don't freak out, but it will take some time. You may actually be surprised by how quickly it does go down (especially if you nurse). At this point I'm 11 days post-delivery and I've lost 20 of my 34 pounds. I'm not working out (your doctor will tell you not to lift anything heavier than your baby for 2 weeks), but I have been walking some and just keeping busy around the house in general (more on that in my "Coming Home" blog post).
Also, when you get admitted one of the first things you'll receive is an IV and fluids. They want you good and hydrated for delivery. If you request an epidural, you will probably get an extra bag of fluids because your blood pressure will drop when they start the medication. Because I pushed so long and had an epidural, I received almost 5 liters of fluid that day. Thank goodness for the catheter. When I got to my post-partum room and looked in the mirror I was horrified. My face was so swollen, way more than it had been during my entire pregnancy. All the fluid also added to the swelling I already had in my hands and feet. A lot of this went down overnight, but I was still pretty swollen when I went home on Monday. It will take days/weeks for all of that pregnancy fluid to go away completely. Be patient.
Smile for the camera.
This is my biggest regret. Not that I didn't smile for the camera, but that I didn't ask for more pictures to be taken of myself with Cade (or myself, Cody, and Cade). When I got home and looked at pictures on our camera and my phone, I was really sad. There were maybe 4-5 pictures of us all together. 3 of them were immediately after delivery with my puffy-face, red-eyed self. I wish I had asked people to take pictures of us. Everyone was so excited about Cade that those pictures were forgotten and I can't get that back. I have tons of pictures of everyone else holding him, but very few of just us.
Congratulations on making it to the end of that one! I'm working on a "Coming Home" post next...lots more fun there ;)
It's ok to say NO.
This is meant for many circumstances.
This is your delivery, you get to (within reason) do it how you want.
Now, if your baby or you are in any sort of danger whatsoever, you don't get to call the shots.
However, if you have a birth plan or just a general idea of how you want things to go, let your nurse know. My favorite thing about delivering at Baptist was that they acknowledge the "golden hour." This is when the baby is allowed to stay with you for at least the first hour after birth, normally to give the baby skin-to-skin contact and allow them to try to nurse. I knew ahead of time they respected this period, but I also made it clear to my nurse that I wanted Cade with me after delivery. Once he was born, he was given to me to hold (a nice distraction when they're stitching you up...) and then taken away for just a couple of minutes to be weighed and wiped down. This also gave me a moment to get a new gown and sheets, and get more comfy in bed. Cody was able to take pictures of Cade getting weighed and then he was brought back to me. We allowed visitors in shortly after, but this was our choice and it was just family (also the visiting time was limited). The nurses actually let Cade stay with me until I was moved to my post-partum room (about 3 hours later). He was then taken to the nursery to get cleaned up while I did the same, and brought back to me about an hour later. I appreciated all the time spent with him during these first hours because the next day was a hailstorm of visitors.
It is also ok to say NO when you feel overwhelmed. This happened on Sunday when we had visitors from 9:30am to 8:00 pm. I loved and appreciated every single person that walked in that room, but it was almost crazy at one point. So when you have 9 people in your hospital room and you haven't eaten lunch and you have to pee (which after delivery is a lengthy process that may require assistance...my poor husband!), you need to speak up and ask people to leave. I didn't do this really because I didn't want to be rude or make people feel like we didn't appreciate them, but at some point it becomes too much. If you feel bad, ask the nurse for help. Being a nurse myself, we get asked often to handle visitors. Your nurse can gently ask people to clear out for a while so you can take a nap or handle your business.
Help yourself out.
I mentioned in Cade's birth story that when my water broke I got up and put make-up on before we hit the road. I did this for a reason. Mostly to not look yuck in pictures, but also to make myself feel better in general. You will feel gross after delivery (again, mine was long and hard, lots of pushing). You might be a lucky duck and push 30 minutes and out comes a baby! If that occurs, you won't be near as swollen or feel as bad as I probably did. But let me tell you, if you do have a marathon delivery you will feel it later. The last thing you'll want to do is go put make-up on right away. We crashed that first night but I was determined to not be a slob the next day. Cody helped me get a shower, and I was able to throw on some cute pajamas and some make-up. I really think this helped immensely. I also got up and walked around the hallways a little later in the day. I was sore and it was hard, but the sooner you start the easier it will be. I didn't cut myself any slack. Trust me, the longer you sit on your sore butt on that hard hospital mattress, the worse you'll feel. If you don't feel like walking the halls, at least get up and sit in the chair/couch that's in the room for a little while.
Take what's yours.
When you get discharged, take everything in that hospital room! This might make me sound tacky but trust me, you paid for it. This is actually directed more towards the baby stuff. Your baby will most likely be in a little bassinet/cradle set-up in your room that looks like it's sitting on top of a cabinet with drawers. In these little drawers are baby supplies, including diapers, wipes, Vaseline (circumcision), alcohol swabs (umbilical cord), brushes, aspirator, etc. My nurse kindly informed that everything in those drawers gets thrown away upon discharge if it's not taken. There was literally a whole pack of Pampers Swaddlers in the drawer. Clean it out! There isn't as much stuff given to mom, but they will give you supplies if you use a breast pump in the hospital, and that stuff is expensive!
Don't expect a miracle.
I don't know anyone who was said (out loud) that they hope or expect to look totally different after delivery. So just to be clear, you will not. You will still look pregnant. When I left the hospital Monday, I would compare myself to what I looked like when I was about 6 months along except your belly is now squishy instead of hard. Now your belly will shrink every day so don't freak out, but it will take some time. You may actually be surprised by how quickly it does go down (especially if you nurse). At this point I'm 11 days post-delivery and I've lost 20 of my 34 pounds. I'm not working out (your doctor will tell you not to lift anything heavier than your baby for 2 weeks), but I have been walking some and just keeping busy around the house in general (more on that in my "Coming Home" blog post).
Also, when you get admitted one of the first things you'll receive is an IV and fluids. They want you good and hydrated for delivery. If you request an epidural, you will probably get an extra bag of fluids because your blood pressure will drop when they start the medication. Because I pushed so long and had an epidural, I received almost 5 liters of fluid that day. Thank goodness for the catheter. When I got to my post-partum room and looked in the mirror I was horrified. My face was so swollen, way more than it had been during my entire pregnancy. All the fluid also added to the swelling I already had in my hands and feet. A lot of this went down overnight, but I was still pretty swollen when I went home on Monday. It will take days/weeks for all of that pregnancy fluid to go away completely. Be patient.
Smile for the camera.
This is my biggest regret. Not that I didn't smile for the camera, but that I didn't ask for more pictures to be taken of myself with Cade (or myself, Cody, and Cade). When I got home and looked at pictures on our camera and my phone, I was really sad. There were maybe 4-5 pictures of us all together. 3 of them were immediately after delivery with my puffy-face, red-eyed self. I wish I had asked people to take pictures of us. Everyone was so excited about Cade that those pictures were forgotten and I can't get that back. I have tons of pictures of everyone else holding him, but very few of just us.
Congratulations on making it to the end of that one! I'm working on a "Coming Home" post next...lots more fun there ;)
Awwwww, the last part made me so sad! I wish we had all thought about asking you - it never, ever occurred to me. I didn't know how many you guys had already, and of course, like you said, we were all so excited. BUT, the ones you have are special indeed - and I loved seeing them for the first time.
ReplyDeleteI am loving reading your blog - everything is SO different now than it was when I had you and Ryan. Much nicer. Amen to taking the stuff - it IS yours and it IS expensive. Clean it out of that room!