The best part about being at the hospital having your baby? The day you get to come home! After 2 1/2 days (or longer if you have a c-section) cooped up in a hospital room, you'll be ready to say hello to the outside world again. It is a little nerve-wracking leaving with a new baby strapped into a car seat, but we were so happy to be headed home that we weren't too worried. And when you get home, that first shower is ah-mazing!
One of my friends texted me the day after we came home and said "Please tell me that bringing a newborn home is not the complete chaos everyone tells you it is." My experience (thus far) has been far from chaotic. We have been truly blessed and Cade has been a good baby. He pretty much wakes up every 3 hours on cue through the night, when we change and feed. We swaddle him back up and back in the pack and play he goes. He puts himself back to sleep most of the time. Occasionally we will hold him for a few minutes, but only until he gets drowsy and then we put him down.
With all that said, I do have some words of advice for you mom, on your first week home :)
Keep taking your medicine!
They will give you pain medicine prescriptions. They are ordered for a reason. You will be sore for a good week or two (I'm currently 12 days post-delivery and feel pretty good). By sore, I mean you'll feel like you need Motrin every time you have to blow your nose. I continued to take Motrin around the clock for the first week, and took my Percocet in between when I needed it. It did make me sleepy so I was careful not to take it when I was too exhausted in the evening, or I'd fall asleep trying to nurse. But don't worry, you'll still hear every little grunt that new baby makes.
Let the hubby help.
Now this may be obvious for most of you. My husband took 2 weeks off work to stay home with us and help with the adjustment. We decided on 2 weeks because honestly, one didn't seem like enough. Not only that but the doctor won't want you to lift anything heavier than your baby for 2 weeks, and you have to be off your narcotic pain medication for 48 hours before you can drive.
I work full-time, but 12 hour shifts so my job only requires me to be at work 3 days a week. I'm used to cleaning house on my own, because I choose to. I'm very...particular with how things are done. The week we came home I did some light cleaning and picking up around the house, but mostly I let the husband handle it. It gave him something to do other than sit and stare at me and the baby, which kept him from going stir crazy :)
Get out of the house.
I can already see some people shaking their heads and pointing fingers at me.
This is a personal choice.
I know people always say not to get a newborn out for 6 weeks, but neither my OB or Cade's pediatrician said not to take him out. This doesn't mean I'm telling you to go pass your baby through the checkout line at WalMart. We had to take Cade to the pediatrician 2 days after coming home for his check-up. While we were out we ran in Babies R Us and got some last minute things we needed. We then bundled the little booger up in his stroller and took a walk in the park since it was warm and sunny. We are very careful when we're out to wash our hands before we touch him, and we pretty much keep him covered up. Most people have the courtesy not to walk up and lay hands on someone else's baby, but trust me I wouldn't let them anyway!
Truly, getting out (even for short outings) will make you feel so much better. Everyone needs fresh air and a change of scenery.
Be Calm.
There's that word again...calm.
I told you it was the name of my game =)
My husband and I are fairly laid back people, if you couldn't tell thus far. My goal for labor and delivery was to have a peaceful atmosphere so my husband wouldn't freak, and baby Cade would be welcomed into a happy place where I wasn't screaming bloody murder at everyone in the room. There's really nothing to scream about...TV makes things look so terrible.
I wanted to carry this atmosphere home with us. Before you leave the hospital you will have some sort of discharge class or individual teaching with your nurse. They will tell you all about bathing, changing, swaddling, SIDS, shaken baby syndrome, and postpartum depression. In our class they told us that you need to be able to recognize frustration when it arises and be able to walk away to regain your composure.
I was sitting there in the class staring at my sweet sleeping baby thinking "Right, like he'll ever frustrate me to that point. He's a baby!"
Well...
Newborns are hard. It takes a little while to figure out what they want. Cade is pretty chill, and we can now recognize a "wet" scream from a "hungry" scream. However, those first 3 nights at home were rough. I attribute most of that to his latching issue (don't worry, there's a blog post coming on that too). We were also still all getting used to each other and he was getting used to being in the real world. At 1am in the morning when he screamed for 3 hours straight, wasn't wet, and wouldn't eat, I could feel the tension radiating. It was making me physically anxious. Now did I ever want to harm my child? Absolutely not. But the feeling of frustration was difficult to deal with and automatically caused me tons of guilt. Cody was frustrated at well, and neither of us had more than 4 hours of broken sleep at this point. I took a minute and a few deep breaths, took Cade into his nursery and rocked him for about an hour. I let Cody go to sleep. Something about motherhood (hormones?) allows you to function on less sleep.
My point in all this rambling is that getting worked up yourself will not help. It will do harm. You will feel overwhelmed at some point (or multiple times) but it will pass. Once you recognize that you're feeling this way and why, I think you can channel it. Now when Cade screams and I don't know why or I'm overwhelmed, I choose to tell him how adorable he is. That sounds silly, and it probably is. But they say babies have a good sense of what is going on in their environment, even in the first days of life. So if he is choosing to pitch a fit, I will choose to stay calm and talk to him until he is over it. It's not easy, but I feel much better when he's done than I would if I'd freaked out.
Stock Up.
Obviously you'll want to have plenty of supplies for baby on hand. Diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes, etc. But I also mean stock up for yourself. Not only will you be exhausted when you get home, you won't want to leave home right away to go get stuff from the store. In the last couple of weeks before I was due I made sure we had a good supply of toilet paper, paper towels and snacks at the house. When we came home from the hospital, we had what we needed. Not that my husband would have minded running to the store, but if there was anyone as tired as I was, it was him!
Perk Up!
Remember when I wrote in my last post about helping yourself out in the hospital?
Guess what?
Do it at home too =)
I can easily see how postpartum depression is an issue with so many women. Life is totally different after you bring a newborn home. I felt gross and sloppy, walking around in my pajamas all day. I also felt sorry for my husband who had to look at me walking around in my pajamas and hooked up to a breast pump every 3 hours. I had saggy baggy tired eyes and wet hair for a couple of days. I say a couple of days because that's when I snapped out of it. The day we got out to the doctor and to walk I got up and got ready like I would any other day. Hair, make-up, regular people clothes and everything! And guess what? I felt so much better! So then I thought, "I don't have to feel yucky just because I'm at home all day!"
Now when I get up in the mornings I start coffee, feed Cade, change him, and pump. Once that's all done with, he's usually ready for a nap (hard life!) and I use this time to get things done for myself. I don't go all out when I'm at home, but I at least change out of my jams into some different clothes (sweats...yoga pants...) and put a little makeup on. It makes me feel a little better to take 10 minutes to myself.
Let it go.
Now, while you're trying to "perk yourself up" there will still be moments of meltdown.
It's ok.
Your hormones are all out of whack. Those don't just go back to normal the second the baby pops out. If you feel like you need to cry, hand of the baby and go cry. I wouldn't drown in your own sorrows or anything ;) but if you bottle up these feelings they will just explode later, probably on your poor unsuspecting husband.
Like I said, having a newborn is hard. It's not that the actual care of the newborn is hard. Mine is pretty basic...if you can handle changing, feeding, and swaddling. But the adjustment to life in general after bringing home baby is difficult. Your life and schedule now revolves totally around someone else, and it's hard to feel 100% yourself until you adjust too. Find someone to talk to who will understand (mom, sister, friend with kids) because your husband or significant other may not understand where you're coming from and just look at you like you're crazy. Trust me, this will only spark another meltdown!
Be Calm.
There's that word again...calm.
I told you it was the name of my game =)
My husband and I are fairly laid back people, if you couldn't tell thus far. My goal for labor and delivery was to have a peaceful atmosphere so my husband wouldn't freak, and baby Cade would be welcomed into a happy place where I wasn't screaming bloody murder at everyone in the room. There's really nothing to scream about...TV makes things look so terrible.
I wanted to carry this atmosphere home with us. Before you leave the hospital you will have some sort of discharge class or individual teaching with your nurse. They will tell you all about bathing, changing, swaddling, SIDS, shaken baby syndrome, and postpartum depression. In our class they told us that you need to be able to recognize frustration when it arises and be able to walk away to regain your composure.
I was sitting there in the class staring at my sweet sleeping baby thinking "Right, like he'll ever frustrate me to that point. He's a baby!"
Well...
Newborns are hard. It takes a little while to figure out what they want. Cade is pretty chill, and we can now recognize a "wet" scream from a "hungry" scream. However, those first 3 nights at home were rough. I attribute most of that to his latching issue (don't worry, there's a blog post coming on that too). We were also still all getting used to each other and he was getting used to being in the real world. At 1am in the morning when he screamed for 3 hours straight, wasn't wet, and wouldn't eat, I could feel the tension radiating. It was making me physically anxious. Now did I ever want to harm my child? Absolutely not. But the feeling of frustration was difficult to deal with and automatically caused me tons of guilt. Cody was frustrated at well, and neither of us had more than 4 hours of broken sleep at this point. I took a minute and a few deep breaths, took Cade into his nursery and rocked him for about an hour. I let Cody go to sleep. Something about motherhood (hormones?) allows you to function on less sleep.
My point in all this rambling is that getting worked up yourself will not help. It will do harm. You will feel overwhelmed at some point (or multiple times) but it will pass. Once you recognize that you're feeling this way and why, I think you can channel it. Now when Cade screams and I don't know why or I'm overwhelmed, I choose to tell him how adorable he is. That sounds silly, and it probably is. But they say babies have a good sense of what is going on in their environment, even in the first days of life. So if he is choosing to pitch a fit, I will choose to stay calm and talk to him until he is over it. It's not easy, but I feel much better when he's done than I would if I'd freaked out.
Stock Up.
Obviously you'll want to have plenty of supplies for baby on hand. Diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes, etc. But I also mean stock up for yourself. Not only will you be exhausted when you get home, you won't want to leave home right away to go get stuff from the store. In the last couple of weeks before I was due I made sure we had a good supply of toilet paper, paper towels and snacks at the house. When we came home from the hospital, we had what we needed. Not that my husband would have minded running to the store, but if there was anyone as tired as I was, it was him!
Perk Up!
Remember when I wrote in my last post about helping yourself out in the hospital?
Guess what?
Do it at home too =)
I can easily see how postpartum depression is an issue with so many women. Life is totally different after you bring a newborn home. I felt gross and sloppy, walking around in my pajamas all day. I also felt sorry for my husband who had to look at me walking around in my pajamas and hooked up to a breast pump every 3 hours. I had saggy baggy tired eyes and wet hair for a couple of days. I say a couple of days because that's when I snapped out of it. The day we got out to the doctor and to walk I got up and got ready like I would any other day. Hair, make-up, regular people clothes and everything! And guess what? I felt so much better! So then I thought, "I don't have to feel yucky just because I'm at home all day!"
Now when I get up in the mornings I start coffee, feed Cade, change him, and pump. Once that's all done with, he's usually ready for a nap (hard life!) and I use this time to get things done for myself. I don't go all out when I'm at home, but I at least change out of my jams into some different clothes (sweats...yoga pants...) and put a little makeup on. It makes me feel a little better to take 10 minutes to myself.
 |
| See...real people clothes! |
Now, while you're trying to "perk yourself up" there will still be moments of meltdown.
It's ok.
Your hormones are all out of whack. Those don't just go back to normal the second the baby pops out. If you feel like you need to cry, hand of the baby and go cry. I wouldn't drown in your own sorrows or anything ;) but if you bottle up these feelings they will just explode later, probably on your poor unsuspecting husband.
Like I said, having a newborn is hard. It's not that the actual care of the newborn is hard. Mine is pretty basic...if you can handle changing, feeding, and swaddling. But the adjustment to life in general after bringing home baby is difficult. Your life and schedule now revolves totally around someone else, and it's hard to feel 100% yourself until you adjust too. Find someone to talk to who will understand (mom, sister, friend with kids) because your husband or significant other may not understand where you're coming from and just look at you like you're crazy. Trust me, this will only spark another meltdown!
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